Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

Fact: Bears eat beets.

So, thanks to Netflix, I can finally do something I've wanted to do for a very long time: Find out what's the deal with Battlestar Galactica. I remember it being on TV a few times when I was very little, but I never watched. Of course it's mentioned on The Office all the time, but also I have several friends who are very in to the re-imagined version of the show. I've read some very interesting bits online comparing the shows, and am curious to see how they really compare, and I'll blog my opinion when I've watched both series. As always, my opinion is correct and definitive, and so all others must comply.

Speaking of comparisons, whenever I see Lieutenant Starbuck (I'm currently halfway through the original 1978 version; I hear he gets a sex change sometime between then and now), I can't help but think of Lone Starr from Spaceballs.

"I'm Starbuck. I'm so cool."

"So, Lone Starr, now you see that Evil will always triumph, because Good is dumb."

Of course, then I think of Starbucks.



I'll leave you with this. I can't get enough of the theme music. It's classic! Such a great fanfare and anthem, so inspirational. I've liked this music ever since one of the first CDs my family ever bought over fifteen years ago was a collection of sci-fi themes (yes, nerdy, I know, but good music anyway). It's odd that it's taken me so long to start watching a show I've loved the music for so long.

Dentists, Mechanics, and Lawyers, Oh, My!

Before I let another month go by too lazy to post anything, I should at least give a quick update. I intend for this blog to be a place for me to voice my opinion on topics I enjoy discussing, such as movies, music, books, politics, etc., and a place to share photos and accounts of places I've been and would like to be. This is not one of those blogs where I share my deep feelings and personal issues with the world in a desperate show for attention. However, giving the big picture of what's going on now and then is worthwhile, since the three or four people who follow this blog are friends and family (then again, that means you guys already know all you need to know and more, at least in theory...), and a lot has happened, so here goes.

First, to get the biggest and worst of the news out of the way. Most of my friends are aware of this but it seems a few aren't. I regret to say that after exactly five years and one week having been married to Kathryn Matthews, I am now divorced. Yep. To quote the narrator of Fight Club, "I suppose these things happen." Those who need to know details already know them, and they don't go here. Suffice it to say she's back in Missouri living with her family, and this is a good thing that had been coming for a few years now, and we're both moving on.

Next, as an unforeseen consequence of the aforementioned divorce, the all-knowing, all-wise and benevolent administrators of Brigham Young University - Idaho (most of you know how I feel about that place, and there's more to come...) felt that they were better qualified as my ecclesiastical and spiritual leaders than my own bishop, and decided that with one semester left before receiving my B.S. in geology, I'd best continue somewhere else. Even though this was a poorly made and inappropriate decision on their part (I even had Dr. Dan Moore, my department chair, fighting for me to stay at BYU-Idaho; there really are a lot of good people there, and most of them are in the geology department), this has also proven to be a good thing overall, and not just because now I get to grow out my beard again.

I am now attending Idaho State University in Pocatello, have made several good new friends, and am in an environment that feels much more comfortable to me. It's proven to be a difficult transition back to the single life, I couldn't have asked for better help making the change. I found an amazing apartment in Pocatello, a mile from campus and very affordable, and four of the funnest roommates I've ever had. Additionally, since I need a certain number of resident credits before I can claim my degree from ISU, that means my education is delayed a couple semesters at least. That sounds horrible at first, but it's really great.

Two of my biggest complaints about BYU-Idaho involve their approach to putting students "first" by rushing them through the system so fast it's amazing you can learn anything there. Semesters are crammed into about twelve weeks, making a full 14-credit (as opposed to the traditional 12) load feel closer to 20 credits, resulting in fast burnout of students and a faculty nearing the point of rebellion (they don't even get a semester off!). The other is that they limit the total number of credits you can take to 140, meaning there's no opportunity to broaden your horizons by taking interesting classes unrelated to your major to help become a more balanced person. I suppose they consider education to be a nonrenewable resource, not to be squandered?

Now that I have no choice, I have a perfect opportunity to take classes I could never have fit into my schedule at BYU-Idaho, and have decided to minor in music. There are really only two things that make me feel truly content in life: the view from the top of a mountain after a long hike or from the highway during a long drive, and when I am performing music. This makes a geology major and music minor the perfect mix for me. I've already begun working on a project I've wanted to do for a very long time, which is to make brass arrangements of songs by Björk and other artists I admire. I'll post recordings when I manage to make good ones!

Now that I am single again, I've also finally been able to pay more attention to things that had largely been ignored due to financial situations and the difficulties in resolving those between a married couple. My Jeep is finally getting the attention it needs to stay functional and hopefully not fail catastrophically like it did last year. Also, while we'd been waiting years and years hoping to be able to afford visits to the dentist for major work, now my parents have been generous enough to pay for my teeth to get a major workover. To quote Scott Lewis (dentist I recommend in Rexburg), I had "a mess in there". Not anymore... over this past three months I had a standing 1pm appointment every Monday, and the major stuff has been taken care of. This includes finally having my nightmare wisdom teeth removed last Thursday (oh, right, there were a few non-Monday visits, too). To put it mildly, I feel like a krillion bucks (and my parents have that much less money!).

Finally, the last bit. Last Friday I moved to Boise for the summer. I got an internship working for the Forest Service making maps of environmental road hazards, and I start tomorrow. For the first week I get to camp and receive field training, then it'll be office work with ArcGIS. I also just found out that my good friend Scott Bergendorf, who was at field camp with me last summer, will be one of the field crews reporting to me, which will be cool. I spent most of yesterday just driving around Boise, and maybe it was the weather affecting me (it was raining and sleeting and snowing, and mid 30s, awesome weather!), but so far I love Boise. I need to buy a new camera, so I can take pictures. The drive from Rexburg to Boise couldn't have been timed better, as I got a perfect mix of storms and low-angle light to show off the mountains spectacularly, and I got to see Craters of the Moon for the first time. It was enough to remind me why I am a geologist.

Okay, enough of this! That's the update. I've got movies to review, concerts to talk about (I got to see Muse last month!), politics to discuss. I'll get to it!

Project Mayhem: Rexburg Chapter

I have some new heroes, in Rexburg of all places. Sadly, my heroes, shortly after performing their epic heroic deed, were defeated by the minions of one* of Rexburg's most evil organizations of villains: The City Government (specifically the Police Department, the government's enforcers and tax collectors). I wish I had been there to help, because these true heroes pulled off what I have been wanting to do for years, which is to make all the parking signs in the entire town disappear over night.

They didn't quite pull off something so dramatic, but they did accomplish something that makes the same point: four Rexburg Citizens took down 60 parking signs around BYU-Idaho campus, tossed them over fences or under cars, and left a bag full of the nuts and bolts used to hang the signs on the front steps of City Hall. They also posted a three-page manifesto, ransom note style, on the door of City Hall. Aside from demands that Rexburg's ridiculous parking regulations be relaxed, it makes several other quite reasonable demands, such as lowering the town's legal smoking age to 6, and having a town baby sale.

Here's the mistake our heroes made: They pulled off this stunt while still living in Rexburg. This is something you do after graduating school and moving away, to minimize the chances of adverse consequences at the hands of the City Villains, the armed meter-maids. The heroic deed was discovered early Tuesday morning, April 20th 2010. I propose that 4/20, aside from the typical activities engaged in on that day, be also known as Annual Rexburg Anti-No Parking Civil Unrest and Peaceful Protest Day, or ARANPCUPPD. Double park, park nose-in in the back-in spots, park where you don't have a permit, etc., etc. Of course, the villains have more power than we do, so only do this if you are prepared to pay tickets, etc., because until enough people participate, we won't have power to truly protest these laws, and there are too many people in Rexburg who fear their government, or at least do whatever they're told.

Also, next idea for a good deed: Leave the back-in parking signs up on 2nd street in front of campus, but re-paint the parking lines back the way they used to be, so that to back-in park you have to cross a lane of traffic. Mwahahahahaha!

*The other evil villainous organization is the BYU-Idaho administration...

Wrong Number

It's fun to mess with people. Here's a short text conversation I just had with a wrong number:

Wrong Number: "hey dad i am hungry and isaac said that you were going to bring pizza"

Me: "Well son, I have been looking for you for a long time, and now I've found you, it figures you just want free pizza."

Wrong Number: "Hey who is this think i got the wrong number"

Me: "Haha, yeah, you did."

The end.

Amazing True Facts

Normally I like to keep the content of this blog completely original, but this is too good. Here is a list of incredible facts that you can impress your friends with. I got this list from blogger Dan Bergstein at Sparknotes. Enjoy:

• When placed in warm milk, raisins re-plump into grapes.
• The metal backs of iPods are made from recycled zippers.
• Eskimos don't believe in bridges or tunnels.
• Every sixteen minutes, someone named Richard dies.
• Billy Bob Thornton's grandfather was the first person to own a television.
• Dolphins kill more people annually than sharks and influenza combined.
• On a dare, former President Rutherford B. Hayes declared war on Chile for 17 minutes.
• The original title for Catcher in the Rye was Hey, Look, a Carousel!
• Professionals call the top socket on an electrical outlet the "Martha," and the bottom socket the "Jasmine."
• In the archives at the Smithsonian Institute in Washington, D.C., there are two identical snowflakes preserved in a freezer.
• Three out of every ten nickels has been in someone's mouth.
• If you hold one nostril closed for 72 hours, you will slowly lose the ability to see color. (Your sight will instantly return to normal when you release your nostril.)
• Wave a magnet at the lower left corner of a vending machine to receive a free soda.
• The glossy paper from the backs of stickers can be used to soothe sunburn.
• To be a train conductor, you have to cut off one of your own toes during a loyalty ritual.
• The Z in Jay-Z's name stands for "Zeppidemus."
• Jean shorts were invented three weeks prior to the invention of regular jeans.
• Whispering instead of talking on cell phones saves significant battery power.
• In Austria, the traditional Christmas colors are not red and green, but purple and clear.
• Benjamin Franklin coined the phrase "Baby Mama" in a satirical poem published in Poor Richard's Almanac.
• If you take the first letter of each word in the Monopoly board game instruction manual, they spell out an X-rated sentence.
• The original name for the laptop computer was "Hinged Smart Slab."
• The average person inhales 3 pounds of spider webs in his or her lifetime.
• When first introduced to the public, plastic laundry baskets cost $75 each.
• Winnie the Pooh started out as a non-fiction account of mental illness.
• Reading backwards for twenty minutes burns the same amount of calories as walking a half-mile.
• The Q in Q-tips stands for "quantum," as the small bit of cotton on the tip contains more atoms than the entire human body.
• Revolving doors were first invented as a way to keep horses out of department stores.
• Peru and the moon weigh the same amount.
• Human beings and anteaters are the only animals that can snap their fingers.
• If you soak a baseball hat in coke, and then let it dry on someone's head, over a 3-hour period the hat will shrink with skull-denting force, causing intense pain and irreparable damage.
• Clouds cannot travel south southwest.
• In sign language, there are 72 ways to say "drawbridge."

The Most Worthless Film Technology Ever

You were expecting me to post something about health care next, right? Close. This week has been a fury of debate over Facebook, and as I distill the comments and points to write something coherent and relevant, I'll share something completely different.

It seems like every movie coming out these days is filmed in 3D. This irritates me, because almost invariably the movie becomes about how 3D it is, instead of how good (or not) the plot and characters are. And is it really more immersive and realistic? No. The audience is constantly reminded of how immersive and realistic it is, 'cause look, it's in 3D, remember? This is self-defeating. But someone else recently put it in much better words than I could (Orson Scott Card, of course), as an aside to a review of the new Alice in Wonderland movie. He makes some very good points, writes entertainingly as always, and gives 3D technology a fair shake while concluding that it is worthless and distracting. Once again, he has plagiarized my brain, and I hear my words all polished up, coming from his mouth (keyboard). Enjoy:

What about the 3D in Alice in Wonderland?

Some of the problems have been solved. When I put on the glasses I did not get a headache within the first three minutes. I never got a headache at all, though it was certainly a relief to take the glasses off.

Also, the filmmakers used restraint -- there were almost no leap-from-the-screen gotcha moments, which always break the audience's trance and destroy believability. The 3D is mostly taken for granted, which is the only effective way to use it.

Because each lens of the special glasses filters out a portion of the spectrum, the total amount of light reaching the eyes is significantly reduced -- the film is darker and details are harder to see. Still, by filming with more saturated light, the result is still watchable.

And my evaluation says: This is the most worthless film technology ever developed, with the possible exception of smell-a-vision.

The idea of 3D is to replace the flatness of the screen with something more akin to how we really see the world.

The gimmick of 3D is based on binocularity. Flat films have only one lens; 3D uses two, the way the human brain does, as it checks out the world through two eyes.

But the purpose of two eyes, evolutionarily speaking, is not binocularity, it's redundancy. You can lose an eye and still see. By having two eyes, you double your chance of survival in a world where lack of vision can kill you.

The binocularity effect is, while mildly useful, fundamentally trivial. It's a biproduct of the fact that two eyes cannot occupy the same spot. It might help you negotiate tricky grabs while swinging about in trees; but it is not the dominant feature of our vision.

We don't see the world in 3D. We conceive the world in three dimensions, but images of the real world come flat to our retinas.

We perceive distance primarily through focus -- when we focus on near things, far things blur a little; when we focus on far things, near things blur. Our peripheral vision does not have to be in focus; the spot where we're looking is always in focus.

In a film, however, the focus has to be the same for all viewers, because you can't control where people are going to look. Focus is embedded in the film. So every layer of the 3D film is in focus at the same time, no matter where you happen to look. This is so contradictory to our normal visual experience that 3D movies are more unreal than the pastel colors of filmed musical comedies.

You never for one instant think you're seeing something real. You can't -- it's slapping you in the face all the time that you are not. Whereas the old-fashioned 2D movie is much, much closer the way we see the real world, because the lens focuses the way our eyes do -- when one thing is in focus, farther and nearer things are less in-focus.

In other words, we have a medium -- flat film, even black and white film -- that has always done a superb job of reproducing our visual experience of the world, yet in the name of "greater realism" we replace it with a fundamentally unreal worldview that turns everything artificial.

Hollywood is so excited about 3D that some people want to use it to make every visual-effects-centered film. I think this is a horrible mistake, except with films like Alice where we want to have the sense of being in an unreal dream-state.

Every time someone says, "Hey, Ender's Game needs to be filmed in 3D, so the battleroom sequences really jump out at you" I shudder and do my best to change the subject. Because Ender's Game depends on letting the audience become absorbed in the story and characters, and 3D would be an enemy -- a constant distraction.

Imagine if the Harry Potter films were in 3D "so the quidditch sequences will look good." Aren't the quidditch games among the most boring moments in each movie? Yes, it's exciting for about ten seconds. Then we're ready to get on with the story.

And for those ten seconds -- or thirty, or ninety -- we have to watch the whole rest of the film in a medium so unreal that we will never really forget ourselves and fall into the audience-trance that makes storytelling arts an essential part of human life?

3D makes you watch the film instead of forgetting the film and watching the people.

And that's why it's a deadly mistake. Only in films where the special effects or cool, unnatural designs are the star is 3D an asset. The rest of the time, it's worthless at best, detrimental at worst.

And even when they don't give me a headache, I hate the glasses. When am I ever going to lean back in my chair at home, ready to watch a film on DVD, and be glad to put on a special pair of glasses? I don't think "never" is too strong a word.

- Orson Scott Card, 3/14/2010

Necromancy: This Blog Needs It

Yes, this blog actually died. I think it's safe to say that after two and a half months of no posts, this blog died. But it isn't completely dead, just mostly dead, and it will come back! Not yet... this is just a precursor. As usual, the main reason for the dearth of posts is laziness; but this time there is also more going on. It's been major life crisis for me lately, and while I keep personal stuff to a minimum on this blog, there will be a few details in a forthcoming post.

For now, I just want to share some music that's been getting me through the tough times, since I tend to express myself better with music than in words. I'm not going to elaborate much if at all here, just share the music and the lyrics, with my favorite lines in bold print, that is all. Enjoy, and if you are tempted to skip a song because you don't like the band, please at least give it a shot. I didn't like some of these bands the first time I heard them, either, and now they're some of my favorites. For example, this new(ish) song from Metallica, which is my new favorite from them:



The Unforgiven III by Metallica:

How could he know this new dawn's light
Would change his life forever?

Set sail to sea, but pulled off course
by the light of golden treasure;

Was he the one causing pain
With his careless dreaming?
Been afraid, always afraid
Of the things he's feeling;

He could just be gone;
He would just sail on;
He'll just sail on.

How can I be lost, if I've got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold, how come it's got so cold?
How can I be lost? In remembrance I relive;
And how can I blame you, when it's me I can't forgive?

These days drift on Inside a fog,
It's thick and suffocating;
His sinking life, outside it's hell;
Inside, intoxicating;

He's run aground, like his life;
Water much too shallow
Slipping fast, down with his ship!
Fading in the shadows

Now a castaway;
They've all gone away,
They've gone away.

How can I be lost, if I've got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold, how come it's got so cold?
How can I be lost? In remembrance I relive;
And how can I blame you, when it's me I can't forgive?

Forgive me, forgive me not;
Forgive me, forgive me not;
Forgive me, forgive me not;
Forgive me, forgive me,
Why can't I forgive me?

(Guitar Solo)

Set sail to sea, but pulled off course
By the light of golden treasure;
How could he know this new dawn's light
Would change his life forever?

How can I be lost, if I've got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold, how come it's got so cold?
How can I be lost? In remembrance I relive;
And how can I blame you, when it's me I can't forgive?


And now, quite possibly my new favorite song by Muse, for both the awesome piano part and especially the lyrics:



Hoodoo by Muse:

Come into my life,
Regress into a dream;
We will hide,
Build a new reality,
Draw another picture
Of the life you could have had;
Follow your instincts,
And choose the other path.

You should never be afraid,
You're protected from trouble and pain;
Why, why is this a crisis in your eyes again?

Taught to be,
How did it come to be,
Tied to a railroad!
You'll have to set us free;
Watch our souls fade away,
Let our bodies crumble away;

Don't be afraid,
I will take the cold for you.

And I've had recurring nightmares
That I was loved for who I am,
And missed the opportunity
To be a better man.


One more from Metallica before I finish with the song that I most identify with right now:



No Leaf Clover by Metallica:

And it feels right this time,
On his crash course with the big time;
Pay no mind to the distant thunder,
New day fills his head with wonder, boy;

Says it feels right this time,
Turned it 'round and found the right line;
"Good day to be alive, sir,
Good day to be alive," he says;

Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train coming your way;
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train coming your way;

Don't it feel right like this?
All the pieces fall to his wish;
"Sucker for that quick reward, boy,
Sucker for that quick reward," they say;

Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train coming your way;
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train coming your way;
It's coming your way!

Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train coming your way;

Then it comes to be,
Then it comes to be.


And finally, the song that has most often been in my head the past few months, from the Canadian band Stars. The quote at the beginning has nothing to do with anything, it's the video right after it and the song that are so amazing. If you give no other song in this post a shot, please listen to this one, because it is so well done:



Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars:

God, that was strange to see you again,
Introduced by a friend of a friend;
Smiled, and said "Yes, I think we've met before,"
In that moment, it started to pour;

Captured a taxi, despite all the rain,
We drove in silence across Pont Champlain;
And all that time, you thought I was sad,
I was trying to remember your name.

This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin,
Tried to reach deep, but you couldn't get in;
Now you're outside me, you see all the beauty,
Repent all your sin;

It's nothing but time, and a face that you lose,
I chose to feel it, and you couldn't choose;
I'll write you a postcard, I'll send you the news,
From the house down the road from real love.

Live through this, and you won't look back;
Live through this, and you won't look back.

There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave:
You were what I wanted, I gave what I gave;
I'm not sorry I met you, I'm not sorry it's over,
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save;

I'm not sorry, there's nothing to save.



I don't know what these songs will mean to anyone listening to them beyond just good music, but they are songs I felt the need to share, especially that last one. Hopefully I will be able to get over this hump and get this blog rolling again, but until then, enjoy this music.