Rather than wait a week or longer for a new transfer case for my Jeep, Kate and I decided it would be best for her to drive to Towanda in her Ford Expedition and tow me home. We were planning to have her fly out and then make the drive home together anyway, plus my dad has more than one broken down Jeep with a compatible transfer case, so parts and labor would be free if I fix the Jeep myself. She made it out to Pennsylvania without incident, we disconnected the drive shaft on the Jeep and put it on a tow dolly Kate had pulled all the way from Rexburg (cheaper to borrow than to rent), and we were on our way. The only interesting thing at this point was that Kate's dashboard was acting up. If I accelerated hard, the thing would short out and all the needles would point to zero. Then it would click, all the needles would go to maximum, then it would click again and show accurate readings. It didn't affect how the car ran, though, so we decided that when we stopped in Rolla, Missouri to visit Kate's parents, we'd have it checked out. We didn't make it that far, though.
Just as we passed a city in Illinois called Effingham (I didn't make that name up), there were two popping noises from the dashboard of the Expedition, smoke came out of the dashboard, all the instruments went dead, and the car lost power. Traffic was heavy, but I made it through one lane of traffic without power steering to get to the shoulder and stop. We called AAA and got towed to a Ford dealership in Effingham, and Kate's parents drove three hours from Rolla to pick us up. Turns out the voltage regulator in the alternator had gone bad and had sent a power surge through the vehicle that fried the battery, the GEM module (controls the electronics in the car), the fuse circuit and the instrument cluster. Of course, they didn't figure it out all at once. First they replaced the battery and alternator, and still there were problems. Then they found the fried GEM, replaced that, still problems. Then they found the fried fuse circuit, replaced it, and now the car functions except that when you start it the anti-theft features lock it all up so it's not drivable. They tried reprogramming the instrument cluster, but it's fried, too, all data lost, and won't accept new data, so it has to be replaced. The problem is, it has to be programmed with all the original data specific to our car, same VIN, same odometer reading, etc., and of course the part is on backorder from the Ford manufacturing plant.
We waited a few days, but when it seemed unclear when the part would arrive, we decided we couldn't wait there anymore or Kate might lose her job and I might miss my super important field camp class. We considered flying home and coming back for the Expedition and Jeep later, but that meant not returning the tow dolly to the auto body shop my dad had borrowed it from, and they kind of needed it. We couldn't afford replacing it, so we couldn't leave it behind. My parents suggested that since they needed a new car anyway, maybe we could find one and buy it, use it to tow the Jeep home, and then they would buy it from us. So we found a 1998 Chevy Tahoe in Sullivan, MO, and bought it.
Of course, the guy wouldn't take a personal check, and it was already Friday evening when we found it and Kate's parents test drove it for us, so just buying it was an adventure. Kate and I had stayed a couple nights in a hotel in Effingham expecting the Expedition to be ready any time, but it wasn't; so Kate's parents drove three hours to pick us up at 8am, and we drove three hours back to get to a bank an hour before it closed, then get to the guy's place to buy the car, then take it to get a drive-away tag since we didn't want to license it in Missouri. Fortunately, a drive-away tag doesn't require an emissions inspection, which would have meant we'd have run out of time and would have to wait until Monday to leave. So all was well: we had a new Tahoe, we went back to Effingham and hooked up the Jeep, and were on our way.
Guess how far we made it? Topeka, Kansas. The Tahoe, which was in excellent shape with only 77,000 miles on it, drove fine at first, but the farther we got the wimpier it got. 20 miles west of Topeka it decided it couldn't make it up a hill. Not a big hill, a Kansas hill. Barely a hill at all. So I pulled over again, and it died, and wouldn't start. It seemed like it was out of gas, but there was more than half a tank. So Kate's dad drove six hours from Rolla to Topeka, we bought a new fuel filter and replaced it on the road... still nothing. It was Sunday, so nothing was open, but we managed to find a wrecker with a tow truck who pulled the Tahoe and the Jeep to the nearest repair shop, in Alma, KS. There's no hotel in Alma, so we stayed about 15 miles away in Wamego, which is apparently the Oz Capital of the World. On Monday the mechanic looked at the car, told us it was the fuel pump (which we had guessed when the filter didn't help), and said it may be a couple days before a part came. Fortunately we didn't have to wait, he got his pump that day, fixed it, and we drove away.
Guess how far we made it? The Tahoe lost power again and died on the side of I-70 a second time only 3.5 miles from the Colorado border. Yep, we didn't even make it out of Kansas. This time the battery was mysteriously dead, pointing to alternator issues. My dad decided at this point to call around to find local LDS church authorities who could recommend a mechanic in the area and help us get there, since we were again 20 miles from any town. It was about midnight, but early the next morning a local bishop came out and picked us up and took us to his place in Goodland, KS. Kate stayed there to wash up and rest while this bishop and I took a fresh battery out to the Tahoe. It started up with a new battery, the alternator seemed to be working fine, but I followed the bishop to a local Chevy dealer who tested the battery and alternator and said the alternator was good but the battery was bad. We got a new battery, the bishop gave us free food at the McDonald's in town (which he owned), and we were on our way.
Guess how far we made it? The Tahoe started losing power again, and I made it to the exit ramp for a rest stop at Arriba, CO, but couldn't make it onto the ramp. The alternator for the past several miles had stopped putting out power, and finally died at Arriba. My dad called around again (I could have if there was internet access on I-70, but there isn't), and was directed to an auto parts store in Denver with the appropriate alternator. He bought it over the phone, and another local bishop sent someone to pick it up and deliver it to us on the highway. I replaced the alternator right there on the road, in high wind and rain, and we were on our way again.
Guess how far we made it? This time we made it to Rexburg, and that was the last of the car troubles. Kate's dad couldn't stand the idea of his daughter being stranded on the highway, and after leaving us after the fuel pump in Topeka and hearing we were stuck again, decided he would tail us the whole way. He caught up to us in Cheyenne, Wyoming, and we all had dinner, and he stayed there for the night and waited to hear we'd made it home before setting off for Missouri himself.
So what is the bill? Parts and labor on the Jeep will be free, but there's $200 to borrow the tow dolly from the auto body shop. The final bill on the Expedition isn't in but will likely exceed $2000. The Chevy Tahoe cost $7000. A new alternator, new fuel pump, gas for the whole trip, hotels, food, etc., is probably close to another $2000 all together. So this trip cost over ten thousand dollars, not counting the money not earned during a couple weeks of not working. My Jeep broke on May 14th. We arrived in Rexburg around 5:30am on June 3rd. This whole trip took 20 days. Considering three cars broke down a total of five times, I call this "cars trouble" rather than just "car trouble".
Oh yeah, it's not over yet. Kate's Expedition is still in Effingham, IL, waiting for an instrument cluster. On Monday I start the major portion of my field camp class, which means for the next seven weeks I will be camping and making geologic maps, home only on weekends which will be filled with homework. Once that is done I will fly out and drive home Kate's Expedition. Let's hope nothing else goes wrong.
