If I Had a Time Machine

...I would not use it for the good of mankind. That's for losers.

First, I'd use it to get lots of money. That's pretty much a given. There's no point going back in time if you don't have any money, so get that thought out of your head right now.

By the way, my time machine would of course be made from a DeLorean (duh):

So, now I have a (hypothetical) time machine and unlimited wealth. Next I conquer the world, right? Wrong! Really, I'm disappointed in you. You should know me better than that; I don't want that headache! I'll stick to complaining about the people who do run it, thank you very much.

No, once I've used my time machine to obtain untold riches, I'd leak the text of the first several chapters of Twilight onto the internet while Stephenie Meyer was still trying to sell the manuscript. Apparently that's enough to stop her from publishing a book. (I guess I lied, I would use my time machine for the good of mankind, but only for selfish reasons.)

That's not what I'd need the money for, though. The money is so I can go back to really good concerts that I wish I'd had the time/money for. Like Metallica's concert with the San Fransisco Symphony in 1999 (before I was even a fan of this amazing band):

If you skipped those videos because you're not interested in metal music, you might give them a try anyway as they could serve to broaden your horizons. These recordings helped open my mind to the idea that metal really is music and not just noise. In particular, this next song is a good door to ease your way into appreciation of metal, and was my first favorite Metallica song:

After enjoying that concert several dozen times (and saying hello to the other dozen me's there, and saying "man, this concert was awesome, you're really going to enjoy it!" and "I've seen this concert three times already, is it still as good the tenth time?" (the answer is yes)), I'd go back two more years, to the east coast this time, and see this one a few times:

Beth Gibbons' voice gives me the shivers, it's so perfect... I've tried to see if I'm in the audience several times while watching these, but I'm not sure. If you see me in the audience, let me know! That would mean that someday I will have a time machine.

There are many concert's I'd selfishly go to (I'd follow an entire tour of Pink Floyd, for examle), too many to post here; but I can't leave this out:

There, did you see me? Right there around 5:04, I'm totally waving at the camera! Go back, see? Right.... there! I knew I'd get a time machine some day!

In between concerts, I'd go back to pivotal points in history to watch how they really unfolded. Also, I'd go way, way back and watch as the Earth formed. I don't have footage or photos to post yet, but I'll blog it when I do, I promise! I also might get cameos in classic films as an extra, and play pranks on famous scientists (go back and read or re-read Darwin's Origin of Species and watch for mentions of pizza). I'd also stop Fox from canceling Firefly and Dollhouse, using Marty's strategy for getting his dad to ask out his mom in the first Back to the Future movie.

Meanwhile, I'll have to make do with YouTube and my DVD of that Portishead concert. That's the closest I have to a time machine at the moment.

Necromancy: This Blog Needs It

Yes, this blog actually died. I think it's safe to say that after two and a half months of no posts, this blog died. But it isn't completely dead, just mostly dead, and it will come back! Not yet... this is just a precursor. As usual, the main reason for the dearth of posts is laziness; but this time there is also more going on. It's been major life crisis for me lately, and while I keep personal stuff to a minimum on this blog, there will be a few details in a forthcoming post.

For now, I just want to share some music that's been getting me through the tough times, since I tend to express myself better with music than in words. I'm not going to elaborate much if at all here, just share the music and the lyrics, with my favorite lines in bold print, that is all. Enjoy, and if you are tempted to skip a song because you don't like the band, please at least give it a shot. I didn't like some of these bands the first time I heard them, either, and now they're some of my favorites. For example, this new(ish) song from Metallica, which is my new favorite from them:



The Unforgiven III by Metallica:

How could he know this new dawn's light
Would change his life forever?

Set sail to sea, but pulled off course
by the light of golden treasure;

Was he the one causing pain
With his careless dreaming?
Been afraid, always afraid
Of the things he's feeling;

He could just be gone;
He would just sail on;
He'll just sail on.

How can I be lost, if I've got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold, how come it's got so cold?
How can I be lost? In remembrance I relive;
And how can I blame you, when it's me I can't forgive?

These days drift on Inside a fog,
It's thick and suffocating;
His sinking life, outside it's hell;
Inside, intoxicating;

He's run aground, like his life;
Water much too shallow
Slipping fast, down with his ship!
Fading in the shadows

Now a castaway;
They've all gone away,
They've gone away.

How can I be lost, if I've got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold, how come it's got so cold?
How can I be lost? In remembrance I relive;
And how can I blame you, when it's me I can't forgive?

Forgive me, forgive me not;
Forgive me, forgive me not;
Forgive me, forgive me not;
Forgive me, forgive me,
Why can't I forgive me?

(Guitar Solo)

Set sail to sea, but pulled off course
By the light of golden treasure;
How could he know this new dawn's light
Would change his life forever?

How can I be lost, if I've got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold, how come it's got so cold?
How can I be lost? In remembrance I relive;
And how can I blame you, when it's me I can't forgive?


And now, quite possibly my new favorite song by Muse, for both the awesome piano part and especially the lyrics:



Hoodoo by Muse:

Come into my life,
Regress into a dream;
We will hide,
Build a new reality,
Draw another picture
Of the life you could have had;
Follow your instincts,
And choose the other path.

You should never be afraid,
You're protected from trouble and pain;
Why, why is this a crisis in your eyes again?

Taught to be,
How did it come to be,
Tied to a railroad!
You'll have to set us free;
Watch our souls fade away,
Let our bodies crumble away;

Don't be afraid,
I will take the cold for you.

And I've had recurring nightmares
That I was loved for who I am,
And missed the opportunity
To be a better man.


One more from Metallica before I finish with the song that I most identify with right now:



No Leaf Clover by Metallica:

And it feels right this time,
On his crash course with the big time;
Pay no mind to the distant thunder,
New day fills his head with wonder, boy;

Says it feels right this time,
Turned it 'round and found the right line;
"Good day to be alive, sir,
Good day to be alive," he says;

Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train coming your way;
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train coming your way;

Don't it feel right like this?
All the pieces fall to his wish;
"Sucker for that quick reward, boy,
Sucker for that quick reward," they say;

Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train coming your way;
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train coming your way;
It's coming your way!

Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train coming your way;

Then it comes to be,
Then it comes to be.


And finally, the song that has most often been in my head the past few months, from the Canadian band Stars. The quote at the beginning has nothing to do with anything, it's the video right after it and the song that are so amazing. If you give no other song in this post a shot, please listen to this one, because it is so well done:



Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars:

God, that was strange to see you again,
Introduced by a friend of a friend;
Smiled, and said "Yes, I think we've met before,"
In that moment, it started to pour;

Captured a taxi, despite all the rain,
We drove in silence across Pont Champlain;
And all that time, you thought I was sad,
I was trying to remember your name.

This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin,
Tried to reach deep, but you couldn't get in;
Now you're outside me, you see all the beauty,
Repent all your sin;

It's nothing but time, and a face that you lose,
I chose to feel it, and you couldn't choose;
I'll write you a postcard, I'll send you the news,
From the house down the road from real love.

Live through this, and you won't look back;
Live through this, and you won't look back.

There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave:
You were what I wanted, I gave what I gave;
I'm not sorry I met you, I'm not sorry it's over,
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save;

I'm not sorry, there's nothing to save.



I don't know what these songs will mean to anyone listening to them beyond just good music, but they are songs I felt the need to share, especially that last one. Hopefully I will be able to get over this hump and get this blog rolling again, but until then, enjoy this music.

Do You Know Muse?

Automated advertising can be funny. I'm pretty sure Facebook and Google, etc. use information from my profile to advertise to my interests, but this unintended mixup made me laugh:

That's all for now.

Busy yet Bored

I have so much to do and so much that I should be doing, but I'm bored. I have a lot of thoughts on politics that I plan to write a post about, and I will once I sort my thoughts in my head and have more time to really sit down and write a coherent post about them. I have thoughts on the invasion of Georgia by the once and future Soviet Republic, thoughts on the price of oil and the Republican congressmen who are finally showing some intestinal fortitude and standing up against Pelosi and other Democrats, thoughts on the five traitorous Republicans who are following McCain's despicable example of pandering to compromising with evil liberals, and thoughts on the Olympics. (Yes, I've seen some and heard more; I'm not actually boycotting them, merely showing lack of interest and general disgust at the Chi-Coms, in case you took my earlier post wrong.)

But that will come later. At the moment I'm mostly going to say that I'm not going to do my in-depth analysis of Stephenie Meyer's music choices for the Twilight series (the playlists can be found on her website). It would be too much effort and it's not worth it. I'll keep it to a couple comments. Stephenie Meyer's taste in music isn't bad, but it's not good either; it's a bit better than typical and generic. There's nothing wrong with that. I actually gained a little respect for Stephenie noticing what a big fan of Muse she seems to be, but then I lost that respect realizing that she either doesn't listen to or doesn't at all understand Muse's very political lyrics. I actually made a comment to my wife that it seems Stephenie's favorite band is Muse, and she shared with me yesterday this part of the dedication of Breaking Dawn:

"And thanks also to my favorite band,

the very aptly named Muse,

for providing a saga's worth of inspiration."

First, this is not the first time she has referred to Twilight as a saga. It is not a saga, it is a series; someone who writes books for a living should really know what is and is not a saga. A saga is a heroic epic, not a love story. Star wars (all three movies) is a saga, Back to the Future is not. The Lord of the Rings is a saga, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is not. Harry Potter comes close to saga by the end of the series, but it is still a series not a saga. The Icelanders invented saga, it would do Stephenie Meyer some good to read one or two*.

Now back to the music. I'm only going to mention Muse. For the first book, Twilight, she includes Time is Running Out. To be fair, this seems to be a love song at first glance; but if she knew her favorite band at all, she'd know it was a subtle anti-war condemnation of the Bush administration, as made clear by the video:

The message, obviously, is that we "pro-war" Republicans are all mind-numbed robots. This video is apparently partially based on Dr. Strangelove, which everyone should see because it's hilarious. New Dawn features, among others, Sing for Absolution, which is another one that is a love song until you watch the video:

That's a very good video, but it's about the fate of the Earth apparently. Eclipse has The Small Print, which is a much less subtle political song than those two, and much harder to mistake for a love song. Those first two at least work on both levels. There's also a much more appropriate song, Hysteria (not all their songs are political):

Since so many people are upset at who will be playing Edward in the movie, maybe the guy from that video would be perfect. He's ripped, he has dark eyes, and he has anger issues. He's probably too old, though, but movies can deal with that sort of thing. Unfortunately Eclipse also has other Muse tracks, such as Newborn (one of my favorite Muse songs, by the way). If you think I'm grasping at straws with my political accusations, this time I have an actual quote from Matthew Bellamy, lead singer for Muse and author of the lyrics:

"It's about a semi-fear of the evolution of technology, and how in reality it's destroying all humanity. My fear is that we can't control it because it's moving faster than we are, so the songs setting myself in a location in the future where the body is no longer important and everyone's plugged into a network. The opening line is 'link it to the world', so it's connecting yourself on a worldwide scale and being born into another reality."

Definitely not a love song. This song was actually my introduction to Muse, as it was remixed for the soundtrack to Swordfish. Here's the video:

Weird, huh? Maybe because of the weird girl Stephenie thought it would be appropriate. Blackout seems to walk the line between love song and political song. I don't have a video or other reference to say which, but based on the trends of Muse's lyrics, I'd lean toward political song. Yes Please and Falling Away with you may or may not have political undertones as well, but are definitely appropriate as love songs (see, I can be fair!).

Breaking Dawn has Muse's cover of Can't Take My Eyes Off of You, which is definitely a fine love song; but Breaking Dawn also has the real bafflers of all the playlists. First of all it has the intro track to their album Absolution, which Bellamy has stated focuses on themes of fear and mistrust (also personal achievement and joy, admittedly), and was partially inspired by the start of the Iraq War, which they obviously oppose. This intro track is nothing more than drums and marching noises, with some unintelligible shouts at the end that sound like Hitler, probably implying that the U.S. invasion of Iraq is the moral equivalent of Hitler invading Poland. Also, there's no music in this track. It's a real puzzler why it would be included. Then she includes the song Assassin, which is not at all a love song and wouldn't even be appropriate for any conflict between vampires and werewolves unless it has to do with Jacob starting a new pack (I read the plot synopses on Wikipedia, and that's more than enough for me). Assassin includes these lyrics:

"War is overdue

The time has come for you
To shoot your leaders down
Join forces underground

[...]

Aim, shoot, kill your leaders,
Aim, shoot, kill...

Oppose and disagree
Destroy Demonocracy"

Based on Muse's track record I don't think there's any doubt they're talking about overthrowing the oppressive Bush regime, rather than Saddam or Ahmedinejad or Putin. Then guess what? The most inappropriate song of all, and the real deal breaker for me, proof Stephenie either doesn't understand her favorite band or is subliminably trying to affect the opinions of her readers, she includes Take a Bow, which I already covered in detail. That really made me laugh.

Wow, this was more than I intended to say! Don't get me wrong, Muse is one of my favorite bands, too. It's just not the best band overall to represent the Twilight series, and she has more Muse songs than songs from any other band. Again, fans of Twilight, don't take this post personally! I don't want to try to convince you to not read or not like Twilight, I just want to understand the appeal. I also wish Stephenie Meyer had put more thought into the music she put in her playlists. Oh, well. I hope you all enjoy Muse, just don't accept their messages.

I will leave you with one more non-Twilight thing that made me laugh with its ridiculousness, but may give you nightmares, and that is this ad from the World Wide Fund for Nature that I stumbled across:

Hahahaha!

*If anyone wants to know what to get me for my birthday or Christmas, The Sagas of Icelanders is a book I've always wanted to read.