Eat Your Boogers

The Summer Olympics start tonight. That means TV will be filled with lame ceremonies and singing and dancing tonight. Even after the ceremonies, though, I've never been really big on the Summer Olympics; I'm more of a winter sport kind of guy. The diving is impressive, and the gymnastics, and I do enjoy watching the boating events sometimes, but there's not much appealing to me to watch people run in circles or swim back and forth or lift a lot of weights. It's just not exciting. Maybe if they had real sword fighting I'd have something to get excited about, but fencing isn't real sword fighting. Combine the scarcity of interesting events with the crap China's been pulling, and I've decided I'm not even going to watch at all. The 2010 Winter Olympics should be fun, though, and maybe since they'll be in nearby Canadia, I just might be able to attend in person. That would be cool, since I missed the Olympics in Utah because I was busy serving a mission in Washington.

A couple nights ago a comment I made about the bombing of Hiroshima sparked the weirdest debate I've ever had with a liberal. It's too bad it didn't happen here on this blog, but I'll post a link, anyway. It happened in the off-topic forum of an online game I occasionally play, called Vendetta Online (yes, I'm enough of a nerd that I comment on a video game's discussion board). The particular discussion thread was a guy asking for advice on what to put on his custom license plate. It was a boring discussion until I joked that my 16mpg Jeep Cherokee should have a license plate that said GASGZLR, at which point a discussion began on the effect of rising gas prices. The oddness started when a commenter who goes by the online name SuperMegaMynt stated that "it is not the gun, nor the missile, nor the atomic bomb which is the cause of the fiercest wars; it is the vehicle. That is the only true weapon of mass destruction."

I assumed he was talking about global warming, but it turns out he had an odd idea about fuel, but his statement was confusing. What followed was the most bizarre debate against the most nonsense argument I've heard in a long time, that weapon delivery systems are more dangerous than the weapons they deliver, and that the definition of death is merely being permanently immobilized. There's too much debate to just post here, but if you are interested it starts with this post and continues through to the end of the thread. My Hiroshima comment comes a few posts down, where I link to my blog post from Wednesday. It's very interesting (to me, at least), and I even interject some Tolkien and The Dark Knight. It's actually some of the best debating I've done; too bad it's against such moronic arguments.

In other news, I am nearly immune to all diseases. This is not the same as being immune to nearly all diseases. I do get sick, but I tend to be mildly irritated by illnesses that completely immobilize those around me. For example, this past week my wife has been nearly knocked flat by a very bad cold (though she's tough, so she was able to work and function despite looking deathly ill). I suffered no effects whatsoever until yesterday, as she was getting over it, when I woke up with a dry, scratchy throat and had a runny nose all day. I've all but cleared up already. An even more extreme example comes from my mission, when my missionary companion was bed-ridden for ten days because of the flu. To be perfectly honest, this guy was a wimp, but it makes the contrast even better. Until the very last day he was sick, all I suffered was extreme cabin fever until I finally caught it and felt slightly nauseous for one day.

How do I stay so healthy? What is the secret of my near immunity? I eat my boogers*. According to an Austrian doctor, eating your boogers provides a boost to your immune system similar to a vaccine:

"With the finger you can get to places you just can't reach with a handkerchief, keeping your nose far cleaner. And eating the dry remains of what you pull out is a great way of strengthening the body's immune system." He then added, "Medically it makes great sense and is a perfectly natural thing to do. In terms of the immune system the nose is a filter in which a great deal of bacteria are collected, and when this mixture arrives in the intestines it works just like a medicine."

"Modern medicine is constantly trying to do the same thing through far more complicated methods, people who pick their nose and eat it get a natural boost to their immune system for free."

Now you know my terrible secret. They're actually quite tasty (unless you spend too much time near, say, a cattle ranch, or a wastewater treatment plant). If you want to stay healthy, eat your boogers!

*I don't really eat my boogers, I'm just naturally tough apparently.